People in love make me want to vomit
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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