apparently the secret to your success is patron
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
