I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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