have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
