The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize