In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
