Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I forget how to act sober
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
