You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
