When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
