Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
okay pat passed out under dana's car
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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