It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
