They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
