Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
