your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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