Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
