I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She said her name was "party"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
