You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
