marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
