i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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