I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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