I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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