I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
