He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
