Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
