Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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