I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
