How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
