How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
wow bdsm is so cute
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
