I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
