Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
