Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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