if i can run in heels then i can drive
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
