Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
