I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
