I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
