can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
