do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
