This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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