We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
