Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
