I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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