I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
