I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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