i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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