Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
