Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
