I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
