Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this just has baby written all over it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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