I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Who died my cat blue again?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
