That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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